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Somehow I've found myself, sitting in the middle of an enormous valley
The open sky could swallow me whole
The hills have been kissed with every color known to the universe, and my simple little eyes
I'm alone with the possibility to fall in any direction
It doesn't matter which way I go, it all leads to the same place
I haven't started to move, and I'm right where I'm suppose to be
Or maybe I've been going a million miles per second and haven't noticed
Change.
It's here.
It's staring straight at me - and it's so beautiful.
I just can't wait to share it with everybody! I hate keeping secrets.
Coming soon: A real blog
With all of the changes I've made to my life over the last month[plus] I've been thinking about changing the name and face of my lj (not something I do too often).
I gave some thought to moving to an actual real blog --- but given my lack of information on the "good" blog sites, and my commitment to LiveJournal, I just don't think I'm ready to leave yet.
So, in addition to changing the format of my journal, I'm also thinking of a new Header/Journal name...
I'd like it to be something that relates directly to my "quest" for personal daily growth --- maybe a play on words, tying in my love of food, music, adventure, and health.
I've only got one idea so far - feel free to pipe in with any of your own:
"Where My Feet Take Me"
My knee is really bugging me today --- old injury that hasn't acted up in quite awhile.
While I was running I kept repeating over and over in my mind: "Run through the pain", eventually I just felt like I was running "to the pain" so I stopped after one mile. Boo. Thank goodness for pilates...it's become my "other" addiction, akin to running.
P.S. Come visit me in Arcata this Friday. I'll be at Mosgo's, and my set starts at 8:30 [All Ages]. Stick around afterwards to hear Stirx Vega. I'll be sitting in with them on "Decay", a song that I also recorded back up vocals to for their new album. Those boys have really evolved into quite an amzing band.
I gave some thought to moving to an actual real blog --- but given my lack of information on the "good" blog sites, and my commitment to LiveJournal, I just don't think I'm ready to leave yet.
So, in addition to changing the format of my journal, I'm also thinking of a new Header/Journal name...
I'd like it to be something that relates directly to my "quest" for personal daily growth --- maybe a play on words, tying in my love of food, music, adventure, and health.
I've only got one idea so far - feel free to pipe in with any of your own:
"Where My Feet Take Me"
My knee is really bugging me today --- old injury that hasn't acted up in quite awhile.
While I was running I kept repeating over and over in my mind: "Run through the pain", eventually I just felt like I was running "to the pain" so I stopped after one mile. Boo. Thank goodness for pilates...it's become my "other" addiction, akin to running.
P.S. Come visit me in Arcata this Friday. I'll be at Mosgo's, and my set starts at 8:30 [All Ages]. Stick around afterwards to hear Stirx Vega. I'll be sitting in with them on "Decay", a song that I also recorded back up vocals to for their new album. Those boys have really evolved into quite an amzing band.
A change is gonna come
Jan. 4th, 2009 02:01 amIn spite of a very big shift in my mood this evening [it's a long and sort of silly story] the last twenty four hours have been wonderful. D and I made a "bucket list" for the new year --- I've never been one for resolutions --- and so far so good.
I'm on my second day of pilates and I lurve it! My goal is to keep up with fourty minutes of pilates along with ten-fifteen minutes of cardio six days a week.
One of the main things on our "bucket list" is to re-discover the outdoors. We're both really excited about this! Today we hung out in Trinidad and went for a nice hike at College Cove. Poor Lucy stayed at home and slept most of the day, so she's staying up late with me and chewing on her bone.
Change. It's not that scary.
Oct. 31st, 2008 06:06 pmMy outlook on life has always and will continue to be the following:
Learn from every step that you take in life.
Learn, learn, learn.
This is truly my own personal motto....
Every path I walk there is something new to see --- something new to learn --- a lesson about who I am and who I want to be.
I'd be a fool to not listen, to not tune into the things in life I can learn from. Some of these things are so obvious, yet some can be very hard to see. Often times I'll fall before I realize what caused the stumble. But when I do see my mistake I make every effort to prevent the same fall from happening again.
What's the point of all this rambling you ask?
Well, for the first time in nine years I threw all caution to the wind and quit my job --- without another job lined up. This might sound like small beans to some of you, but to me...well, it's out of character. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I'm terrified. But I couldn't stay any longer in a position that was unhappy, and unhealthy.
If something holds you back from beng a better, stronger, healthier, happier version of yourself --- run as fast as you can away from it.
I'm sitting on my couch right now, thinking about what I've learned from all of this...and you know what? I've honestly learned a lot. Granted, I'm still left to convince myself that walking away from a steady paycheck is actually a good thing --- for my present and my future. Deep down inside I know that it is right.
I owe a lot of thanks to the NCJ, in spite of a very long dirty laundry list. I'm moving forward, closer to the perfect career/job --- and I'm not gonna stop until I get there.
Evil is in the eye of the beer holder
Oct. 7th, 2008 10:49 pmQ: So what do you think about John McCain?
D: "I think he breathes a lot when he talks. I think he breathes so much because it's hard to breathe when you're full of shit.
I think he milks the fact that he was a prisoner of war.
Granted he knows how to "sound like" he's answering a question. But when he's done with his statement you'll look back, only to realize that he hasn't actually "answered the question". That is a talent that only comes with political experience. Not the kind of political experience I want in a future president."
Q: So what do I think about John McCain?:
Me: I'm not his friend.
I don't want to be his friend.
He doesn't want to be my friend.
Even if he said he wanted to be my friend I wouldn't believe him.
He makes me feel hopeless about the future of peace and harmony in this world.
If that man had an olive branch he'd probably find a way to make a weapon out of it.
Caffiene...
Sep. 27th, 2008 12:25 amWell, I drank some caffiene today - and go figure...now I can't sleep. I should've never gave into the temptation of a cup of black tea.
My mind is still reeling from the week that's now behind me. "Ask and you shall receive" was something I found myself saying more than a few times over the last couple of days.
Life is so incredible. I love learning more about myself, my husband, my goals, and my future...all in the days past it seems that so much has come to fruition. So many things that I've wanted, but wasn't ready to ask for until now.
When D and I were first engaged I had a weird/strange(prophetic maybe?) vision one day. After we had spent a good amount of time talking about a "5 year plan", I remember distinctly day dreaming about our future home together. It was such a simple quick glimpse into the future - this day dream.
I saw myself, draping my left arm over the backside of our green couch, but this couch was in a living room of a house that I'd never seen before. In my mind I saw it so clearly though. The detail of darkwood in the background, a brick fireplace, warmth all around. I remember seeing myself leaning over the sofa, my arm hanging in a relaxed manner...and the smile of happiness was written so brightly accross my face.
We're moving into that home, that exact place from my dream - in a little over a month. I can't believe it.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Thoughts on Raw food, and the results thus far:
Since embarking on this rather drastic lifestyle alteration I've been experiencing a lot of change within my body - both emotional and physical.
The first, and most noticeable change was a large increase in energy.
I've never been a caffeine drinker, but every once in a while I'll have a cup of green tea in the early part of the day. Since going raw I have been waking up in the mornings (very early) with so much more ease, feeling crisp and clear throughout the entire day, and even staying up later too. This is huge, since I've always fought with the alarm clock in the mornings (but who doesn't), almost always running out the door for work at the last minute.
Clarity.
Very simply put - I feel as though my body is on a level health-wise that it's needed to be for so long - and because of this I'm processing my thoughts and emotions so much more clearly. I've also been able to stop and rationalize situations where I would normally become irrational with my reactions. This has resulted in one of the most emotionally balanced "times of the month" I've had in, well, as long as I can remember. I know D is very appreciative of this too.
Positive Self Image.
It's good, because I feel good. When I feel good physically, I feel good emotionally - therefore eliminating the amount of negative thoughts about my body/weight that would often run like a broken record through my mind all day long. And believe me - negative thoughts and feelings about my self image have plagued me since I hit puberty. To finally feel like I have a handle on those thoughts is a miracle in its self. I've got a long way to go, but moving forward is such a good thing.
Intimacy.
All I can say on this subject is that the aforementioned all play a part in this. I have been loving and appreciating my husband so much more - and this has made "us" a force to be reckoned with.
Since embarking on this rather drastic lifestyle alteration I've been experiencing a lot of change within my body - both emotional and physical.
The first, and most noticeable change was a large increase in energy.
I've never been a caffeine drinker, but every once in a while I'll have a cup of green tea in the early part of the day. Since going raw I have been waking up in the mornings (very early) with so much more ease, feeling crisp and clear throughout the entire day, and even staying up later too. This is huge, since I've always fought with the alarm clock in the mornings (but who doesn't), almost always running out the door for work at the last minute.
Clarity.
Very simply put - I feel as though my body is on a level health-wise that it's needed to be for so long - and because of this I'm processing my thoughts and emotions so much more clearly. I've also been able to stop and rationalize situations where I would normally become irrational with my reactions. This has resulted in one of the most emotionally balanced "times of the month" I've had in, well, as long as I can remember. I know D is very appreciative of this too.
Positive Self Image.
It's good, because I feel good. When I feel good physically, I feel good emotionally - therefore eliminating the amount of negative thoughts about my body/weight that would often run like a broken record through my mind all day long. And believe me - negative thoughts and feelings about my self image have plagued me since I hit puberty. To finally feel like I have a handle on those thoughts is a miracle in its self. I've got a long way to go, but moving forward is such a good thing.
Intimacy.
All I can say on this subject is that the aforementioned all play a part in this. I have been loving and appreciating my husband so much more - and this has made "us" a force to be reckoned with.
Bang! Bang!
Jan. 9th, 2008 06:36 pmWell, I did something. Something I consider very drastic when it comes to altering my appearance.
Bangs. *gulp*
I've had the urge to do it for quite some time now, and with D's blessing (while I don't need his approval, it helps to know he'll be okay with a little change) I went to town this evening...
Bangs. *gulp*
I've had the urge to do it for quite some time now, and with D's blessing (while I don't need his approval, it helps to know he'll be okay with a little change) I went to town this evening...
No resolutions, yet.
Dec. 30th, 2007 08:41 pmThe holidays have been lovely so far.
Food, family, party after party, drinking, and much merriment. I'm sad to see the end of such a fun month - but excited about the change that January will bring.
Tomorrow D and I will head up to Brookings Oregon, where we'll ring in the new year with some much needed one-on-one time. We might venture out and attempt to find a dive, maybe meet some locals and play a game of pool. Either way I can't wait to be with my hubby and take a soak in the jakoozie tub.
Looking back on this last year I can't believe the amount of change that's taken place in my life. Starting a very new and scary job, planning a wedding, becoming a wife, goodbyes and farewells, plenty of laughter and tears, lots of lessons learned, and stress to boot...
And now, at the close of 2007 there is fittingly a light at the end of a very very long and dark tunnel.
I've been struggling with my lack of happiness over the last six months, most of it related to work and friendships - but not wanting to throw the towel in on a very promising career, I pushed the square peg into the round hole, hoping the gaps would fill in over time.
Of course, life always seems to have a way of bringing change when I don't think I'm ready for it - thankfully I usually know when to surrender.
2008 will be amazing. 2008 is going to be a healthy year. I am so excited to watch the sun set over Harris beach tomorrow night, and greet the New Year with a happy peaceful heart.
I'll be starting my new job in mid January, finally working for a company that gives back to the community. I'll have my own desk, my own office, my own co-workers, a lot more stability, and peace of mind.
Now I'm off to price plane tickets, in hopes to afford a flight up to Spokane come the new year...otherwise maybe a road trip to Redding is due (Jenney??).
It's been nice catching up with you lj,
*kisses*
